Asher Charles McKinley
Here are just a couple photos from the most cherished moments as our new family of three.
After twenty eight weeks of experiencing a picture perfect pregnancy the life we knew came crashing down around us as one sentence changed our lives forever. Abruptly, I experienced decreased fetal movement, but after a visit to my doctor she assured me there was nothing to worry about. Unsatisfied with this answer, a week later I returned to the doctor to hear the words every pregnant woman dreads "your baby does not have a heartbeat". In that moment and in the days and week to come we have experienced the most profound, spiritual, life changing, heart wrenching, soul stirring events of our lives. Words cannot express the heartache one can feel in coming so close to having everything you could ever want, only for it to drastically change in the end. Words can also not express the peace, love and greater understanding which can come from soul altering events like this.
I have noticed a subtle whispering in my soul to be kinder, more patient and above all grateful for the amazing life we lead, trials and all. I realize not everyone has the opportunity to carry a child for any period of time, let alone give birth and hold that child in their arms. We feel blessed, watched over, cared for and above all overwhelmed by the love and support which has been manifested to us. I have never doubted my parents love me, but their ability to be there in our time of need and experiencing love so pure and kind overwhelms to reflect upon.
We have experienced the trial of our life, but it has also been the greatest reminder of how we are not experiencing this life alone. We can control our reactions, make the best decisions we can, prepare for the future, but after that we have to turn things over to the Lord. There have been times where I have literally felt lifted up by the prayers and concern of others, the seemingly trivial things have been swept away in my life and I feel an increase in faith, love and a greater understanding of the importance of possessing an eternal perspective. While at the hospital one of the nurses said, "hold tightly to one another". Even though we felt an endless amount of love for each other before, the mutual love and understanding we now have is one which will be forever be imprinted on our souls.
I delivered our son, Asher Charles McKinley on October 3rd at 7:36am. He weighed 2 lbs 7.5 ounces. It came as no surprise he had a long and skinny build just like his father. He was tiny, perfect, all we could have hoped for and more. It was a sweet and special time together as a family. From the way Cameron looked at me each and everyday while I was pregnant, to excitement in the air amongst family and friends, to giving birth and being able to hold Asher it was all worth it. We are especially grateful at this time for the knowledge families can be together forever. The past week has been the most profound and spiritual time in our lives. Our love for not only each other, but our extended family has grown by leaps and bounds as has our faith. We have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of care and concern we have felt from our friends and family alike. We are appreciative of all the thoughts and prayers on our behalf and feel inadequate in how we can ever repay each person for their love and kindness.
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."