Each year on my son's birthday I simultaneously feel sad and look forward to the date. My thoughts often turn toward how old he would have been, what kind of party I might have thrown for him and what our life would have looked like if he were around. Inevitably, on the day of his birth I have moments of tears and sadness, but my general feelings have been of gratitude and happiness. I know without a shadow of a doubt my son would want me to be happy.